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I Thought I Was Just Hungover. Turns Out, It Was Menopause.

June 14, 20258 min read

There was a time when I'd wake up feeling foggy, sluggish, and moody, and chalk it up to a glass of wine the night before.

Not even a wild night. Just a glass or two to unwind, like most women I knew.

It was my reward. My ritual. My coping mechanism. My "me time."

But then something changed.

The hangovers got heavier. The brain fog got thicker. My anxiety ramped up, my sleep got worse, and I couldn't bounce back the next morning like I used to.

At first, I thought I was just getting older. Then I thought maybe I had a drinking problem.

Turns out it was menopause.

And nobody had warned me that my relationship with alcohol was about to get complicated.

Nobody Talks About How Alcohol Hits Different in Midlife

If you're in perimenopause or post-menopause and still drinking like you did in your 30s, there's a good chance your body is throwing up red flags.

Because alcohol during menopause is like lighting a match in a hormone-fueled haystack.

What used to be a minor headache is now:

  • A full-body crash the next day

  • Anxiety dialed up to 100

  • Interrupted sleep at 3am sharp

  • Mood swings that feel like emotional whiplash

  • Cravings, irritability, and shame spirals

And let's be real: the physical stuff is rough, but the emotional hangover hits just as hard.

You know that feeling when you wake up and immediately start mentally replaying everything you said the night before? Even though you weren't even drunk? That's your nervous system trying to process alcohol while your hormones are already in chaos mode.

The Science Behind Why Everything Feels Harder

Here's what's really happening in your body during midlife:

Your liver is working overtime. It's already processing fluctuating hormones, and now you're asking it to metabolize alcohol too. It's like asking someone to juggle while riding a unicycle…eventually, something's going to drop.

Your sleep architecture changes. Even without alcohol, menopause messes with your sleep cycles. Add wine to the mix, and you're looking at fragmented sleep, early wake-ups, and that awful "tired but wired" feeling.

Your stress response is amplified. Your cortisol levels are likely already elevated from hormonal changes. Alcohol initially seems to calm you down, but it actually increases cortisol production, making you feel more anxious and stressed over time.

Your blood sugar becomes a roller coaster. Alcohol spikes your blood sugar, then crashes it. In midlife, when your metabolism is already shifting, this creates energy swings that can last for days.

Alcohol + Estrogen = A Messy Mix

Here's what I wish someone had told me sooner:

Alcohol messes with estrogen metabolism (and everything is already messy enough). Your body has to choose between processing alcohol and processing hormones. Guess which one wins?

It disrupts REM sleep (you know, the kind you desperately need now). That "wine helps me sleep" thing? It's helping you fall asleep, but it's stealing your deep, restorative sleep.

It spikes your blood sugar and messes with your gut (hello, bloat and fatigue). Your gut health is already under stress from hormonal changes, and alcohol makes it worse.

It intensifies hot flashes and night sweats (so fun). Alcohol dilates blood vessels, which can trigger hot flashes and make them more intense.

It amplifies symptoms of anxiety and depression (as if those needed help). The temporary relief alcohol provides is followed by a rebound effect that makes anxiety and depression worse.

And for many women, that glass of wine becomes a cycle: You're stressed → you drink → you feel worse → you're stressed again.

But because it's normalized (especially for women), we don't question it.

The "Mommy Wine Culture" Trap

Let's talk about the elephant in the room: wine culture for women.

Everywhere you look, there are jokes about "mommy juice," wine glasses that say "It's 5 o'clock somewhere," and the idea that wine is how we cope with the stress of being women.

But what happens when your coping mechanism becomes another source of stress?

When that glass of wine that used to help you unwind now keeps you up at 3am, overthinking everything?

When your "treat yourself" ritual leaves you feeling worse about yourself the next day?

The culture tells us we need wine to survive motherhood, work stress, and life in general. But your body in midlife might be telling you something different.

I Had to Get Honest: It Wasn't Helping Anymore

Quitting drinking wasn't some dramatic rock-bottom moment for me.

It was a quiet realization that I didn't like who I was after. That I was tired of blaming the wine when deep down, I knew my body was screaming for something else:

Sleep. Rest. Clarity. Peace.

And I wasn't getting any of that with alcohol in the picture.

So I stopped.

Not because I was an alcoholic (I wasn't). Not because I hit some dramatic low point (I didn't). But because I finally listened to what my body was trying to tell me.

What Changed When I Stopped Drinking

The list is long, but here's what stands out:

My brain fog improved (like... significantly). I stopped walking into rooms and forgetting why I was there. I could focus on conversations without my mind wandering.

I started sleeping deeper and waking up rested. Instead of that 3am wake-up call, I began sleeping through the night. Game changer.

My anxiety calmed the hell down. Those Sunday scaries? Gone. The constant low-level worry? Manageable again.

My energy slowly returned. I stopped needing three cups of coffee just to function. I had energy for evening activities instead of collapsing on the couch.

I stopped feeling like I was "failing" at midlife. The shame spiral of "I should be able to handle this" disappeared when I realized I was actually handling it, just not in the way I expected.

I saved money. Good wine isn't cheap, and I was drinking good wine. The monthly savings were a nice bonus.

And the weirdest part was I barely even missed it once I saw how much better I felt without it.

This Isn't a PSA to Quit Drinking

I'm not here to tell you what to do.

I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist, and I'm not a sobriety coach.

But I am someone who lived through the cognitive chaos of menopause... while also trying to run a business, raise a family, and not lose myself in the process.

And if you're wondering whether that nightly glass of wine is making things worse?

It probably is.

Here's what I'm not saying:

  • You have a drinking problem

  • You need to quit forever

  • There's something wrong with you if you drink

Here's what I am saying:

  • Your body's relationship with alcohol changes in midlife

  • What used to work might not work anymore

  • You deserve to feel clear and energized

  • You have permission to reassess

You Don't Have to Quit. But You Can Get Curious.

Try tracking how you feel after you drink.

Sleep. Mood. Anxiety. Focus. Not just the next day, but for 2 or 3 days after.

Because during menopause, the "hangover" isn't just a few hours. It's often a full-body crash that throws off your hormones, your productivity, and your sense of self for days.

Questions to ask yourself:

  • How's my sleep quality after drinking?

  • Do I feel more anxious the next day?

  • How's my energy level 48 hours later?

  • Am I drinking to cope with stress, or for genuine enjoyment?

  • Do I like who I am after a few drinks?

And if that glass of wine isn't serving you anymore?

You get to choose something different. Without shame. Without judgment. Without needing anyone's permission.

Alternative Rituals That Actually Restore You

If wine was your end-of-day ritual, you might need to replace it with something that actually serves your nervous system:

Instead of wine to unwind: Try herbal tea, a warm bath, or gentle stretching

Instead of wine for celebration: Sparkling water with fruit, a special dessert, or a small gift to yourself

Instead of wine for socializing: Suggest coffee dates, walks, or alcohol-free activities

Instead of wine for stress relief: Deep breathing, journaling, or calling a friend

The key is finding rituals that actually address what you're seeking: relaxation, connection, celebration, or stress relief.

Just Because Alcohol Used to Help Doesn't Mean It Still Does

Midlife is a chance to rewrite the rules. About how we eat, how we work, how we rest, how we cope. About what we need and what we're done tolerating.

Your body is changing. Your hormones are shifting. Your needs are different.

And that's not a failure, it's evolution.

You don't have to go all-or-nothing. But you do deserve to feel clear, grounded, and strong in your own skin.

The Bottom Line

You're not broken if alcohol affects you differently now. You're not weak if you need to reassess your relationship with it. You're not missing out if you choose to prioritize how you feel over how you've always done things.

You're just a woman whose body is asking for something different in this season of life.

And listening to that request? That's not giving up something good.

That's choosing something better.


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Kelly Hill, The Menopausal Entrepreneur, is a CPA turned Business Coach for women navigating menopause. She built a six-figure company while navigating the complexities of menopause and now helps other women do the same without the burnout. As the founder of Profit & Lattes and a Certified Menopause Coaching Specialist, she combines real-world finance expertise with no-BS coaching to help women redefine success and build businesses that actually fit their lives. Kelly believes in paying yourself first, ditching the hustle culture, and proving that midlife isn't a crisis...it's your power move. When she's not talking profit margins or hormone chaos, you'll find her with an oat milk matcha latte, walking by the water, or reading a thrifted book find while cuddling with her therapy cat, Cleo.

Kelly Hill, CPA, CMCS

Kelly Hill, The Menopausal Entrepreneur, is a CPA turned Business Coach for women navigating menopause. She built a six-figure company while navigating the complexities of menopause and now helps other women do the same without the burnout. As the founder of Profit & Lattes and a Certified Menopause Coaching Specialist, she combines real-world finance expertise with no-BS coaching to help women redefine success and build businesses that actually fit their lives. Kelly believes in paying yourself first, ditching the hustle culture, and proving that midlife isn't a crisis...it's your power move. When she's not talking profit margins or hormone chaos, you'll find her with an oat milk matcha latte, walking by the water, or reading a thrifted book find while cuddling with her therapy cat, Cleo.

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