Why Paying Yourself First Isn’t Selfish. It’s Smart

Let’s be real, most women entrepreneurs don’t pay themselves enough. Or at all.

And not because they don’t want to.
Not because they’re failing.
But because they’ve been taught that everyone else comes first.

The team gets paid.
The subscriptions get paid.
The bills get paid.

And you’re lucky if there’s anything left.

I’ve lived this. I know this. I’m an accountant and even I fell into this trap.

Because the narrative is so loud: “Reinvest in your business. Don’t get greedy. Grow first. Pay yourself later.”

Later never comes.

The unpaid CEO: a quiet epidemic

Here’s the wild part. Most of the women I work with are already bringing in six figures, sometimes multi-six. They’re “successful” by all the outside metrics. But when we get into the numbers, we uncover a brutal truth.

They’re making money, but not taking any home.

And when I ask, “Why aren’t you paying yourself?”
They say things like:

“I can’t afford to right now.”
“I want to wait until things stabilize.”
“It feels selfish with all these other expenses.”

Let me tell you something that might shake you a little.

Not paying yourself doesn’t make you strategic. It makes your business unsustainable.

Why it matters (more than you think)

Your paycheque isn’t just about income.
It’s about ownership.
It’s about respect.
It’s about building a business that serves your life, not one that sucks the life out of you.

When you don’t pay yourself:

• You undervalue your time and energy

• You normalize stress and scarcity

• You reinforce the belief that everyone else’s needs come before your own

And that mindset bleeds into everything including your pricing, your boundaries, your burnout.

How did we get here?

Some of it is societal conditioning.
We’re raised to believe that taking care of others makes us good. That sacrificing is noble. That “selfless” is a compliment.

In business, that translates to undercharging, overdelivering, and always waiting for the right moment to take care of ourselves.

But that moment doesn’t arrive. You have to create it.

What paying yourself first actually looks like

Let’s make this tangible. Because I’m not here to just rant, I want you to walk away with a plan.

Step 1: Know your number
How much do you actually want to make each month? Not the minimum to scrape by. I’m talking about a number that supports your goals, your health, your freedom, and your future.

Step 2: Look at your revenue vs. expenses
Can your business, as it stands now, support that number and still run effectively? If not, you don’t need to hustle harder. You need to shift your model. This could mean increasing prices, reducing unnecessary expenses, or reworking your offer stack.

Step 3: Automate your payout
Don’t make it optional. Put yourself on payroll, even if it starts small. Build that habit of consistency and respect. Treat your own compensation with the same priority you give your vendors.

Step 4: Normalize your wealth
Stop apologizing for making money. Stop shrinking to make others comfortable. The goal isn’t to just survive entrepreneurship. It’s to thrive.

Let’s talk about the guilt

It’s real. I felt it. I hear about it constantly.

But let me reframe it for you.

Paying yourself doesn’t take away from others.
It allows you to continue showing up.
It builds your capacity.
It gives you the energy, resources, and freedom to lead with integrity, not desperation.

When you’re underpaid, overworked, and barely holding on, you’re not doing anyone a favour. You’re just setting yourself up to break.

If you’re in midlife or menopause? It’s even more critical.

This stage of life demands more care. More rest. More financial stability.

Your hormones are shifting. Your energy is limited. Your nervous system is more sensitive. You don’t have the capacity to live on crumbs either emotionally or financially.

Your business should feel like a source of support, not something you have to recover from.

This isn’t about luxury. It’s about necessity.

You need food that fuels you. Supplements that work. Clothes that fit your changing body. Therapy. Healthcare. Margin. Time.

And those things cost money.

You deserve to build a business that funds your well-being, not drains it.

Here’s the shift I want you to make

Stop seeing paying yourself as a bonus.
Start seeing it as a boundary.

Because when you prioritize your paycheck, you send a powerful message:

I matter here.
My needs belong in the budget.
My value isn’t optional.

Ready to build a business that supports the woman running it?

Let’s get into your numbers. Let’s clean up your systems. Let’s structure things so you’re not just growing, but actually taking more home.

Connect with Us!

Menopause is a Mindf*ck. So is running a business.
We help you make sure you and your finances aren’t.

→ Go From WTF to Empowered AF with the The No-BS Deep Dive
✨Click here to get started!

Subscribe to our email newsletter expert tips on managing your hormones, mastering your hustle, and making more money without the burnout.

P.S. Come say hi!
→ @profitandlattes on Instagram
→ @themenopausalentrepreneur on Instagram
→ Follow Kelly on LinkedIn