Coffee and I Are Never, Ever, Ever Getting Back Together

PSA: Coffee and I will not be getting back together.

I didn’t even start drinking coffee until my mid-40s.

It was like social smoking in the ‘90s. You didn’t really like it, but it made you feel like you belonged. Like you were part of the cool kids club. In this case, the “cool, polished, high-achieving career woman” club. You know the one…grinding all day, to-go cup in hand, always looking put together with a latte as the ultimate accessory.

From casual sip to caffeinated survival mode

It started with one cup in the morning. Then another around 10am. Then an iced version later in the afternoon because I was still trying to be that woman who drinks cold brew in a blazer.

Before I knew it, I was drinking coffee all day.

Even at night.

But here’s the part where I gaslit myself: I wasn’t drinking real coffee. I couldn’t handle the hardcore stuff. Tim Hortons? Forget it. I called that “rocket fuel.” 

So I told myself it didn’t count. I was like the “not a real smoker” friend who only lit up when someone else offered. This wasn’t a real problem. It was just…a vibe. A comfort. A routine.

Until it wasn’t.

I never actually liked coffee. Not the taste. Not the bitterness. What I liked was having something warm to sip on all day. Something that felt comforting. Familiar. A ritual. Mine was always juiced up with oat milk, stevia, and whatever flavour shot I felt like.

I wasn’t trying to look polished or important. I just liked the pause. The cup in my hand.

But at some point, that comfort became a habit. Then a dependency. And eventually, something I had to quit.

The bet that changed my brain

On April 1st, I made a bet with my besties.

Give up coffee. Cold turkey. No cheating.

Honestly? I didn’t think I’d last a day. I thought I’d be sweating by noon and bargaining by dinner. I imagined myself crawling back to it like a jilted ex, whispering, “Just one cup. Just a little sip.”

Instead, something wild happened.

The longer I stayed off it, the better I felt.

And not just in a “yay, I’m hydrated” kind of way. I’m talking brain clarity I hadn’t felt in a decade. The squirrel-on-speed mental chaos I’d been trying to fix with supplements, routines, and even ADHD hacks? Gone.

I wasn’t scatterbrained. I wasn’t working with 30 tabs open at a time. I wasn’t crashing by 2pm.
I was…clear.

Like “is this what normal people feel like?” clear.

And I realized this wasn’t just another trendy health kick. This was the missing piece I didn’t even know I was looking for.

So I did what I always do now: I researched

When something changes for me now, I dig in.
So I started reading everything I could find on caffeine and menopause.

And let me tell you…caffeine hits our midlife brains differently.

• It messes with our cortisol (which is already doing backflips during menopause)

• It worsens anxiety (already on high alert)

• It sabotages sleep (which we desperately need)

• And it makes focus harder, not easier, for many menopausal women

Basically, I’d been fueling the very fire I was trying to put out. Every damn day.

No wonder I felt like I was unraveling.

Giving it up wasn’t easy, but it was worth it

I didn’t quit because I was super disciplined. I quit because I was desperate to feel better. And honestly, I didn’t realize just how much of a grip it had on me until I walked away from it.

Was it hard? Yep.

Did I get a headache? For three days straight.
Did I get cranky? Let’s just say my family knows now not to schedule anything important during caffeine detox.
Did I want to go back? Only every hour for the first week.

But once I hit that three-week mark, it became clear this wasn’t just a temporary thing.

It was a whole new chapter.

Coffee joined alcohol on the “we had a good run” list

I’ve cut a lot of things out of my life these last few years.

Alcohol? Gone.
Toxic jobs? Gone.
People and habits and routines that drained me? Let them all go.

And now? Coffee joins that list.

Not because I don’t love it. But because I love feeling good more.

I love waking up without anxiety in my chest.
I love being able to focus on one thing at a time.
I love not needing something outside of me to feel “on.”

I’m not perfect. I still get tired. I still reach for dopamine. But I’m doing it from a place of awareness now, not addiction. That’s the difference.

This is what empowerment looks like now

In my 30s, empowerment looked like promotions and pushing through.

In my 40s, it looked like breaking patterns and speaking up.

Now? Empowerment means being able to do hard things for myself.
Even when no one sees it. Even when it’s inconvenient. Even when it makes me the odd one out at brunch.

It means walking away from things I used to love if they no longer love me back.

And yes, sometimes it means swapping a cup of jittery comfort for a calm, boring glass of water.

And you know what?

It’s worth it.

But don’t worry…I’m still human

Am I now some fully healed wellness goddess who only drinks lemon water and meditates before sunrise?

Absolutely not.

As I write, I’m counting down the minutes until I can get my hands on a Creme Egg McFlurry. I will be hoovering that thing like it’s my job.

Progress, not perfection, right?

If you’ve been feeling wired, tired, anxious, foggy, or just off, try looking at your caffeine. It might not be the villain, but it might not be your friend either. Want more real talk like this? Grab the free Menopause Insights Manual (aka: the stuff your doctor forgot to mention).

Connect with Us!

Menopause is a Mindf*ck. So is running a business.
We help you make sure you and your finances aren’t.

→ Go From WTF to Empowered AF with the The No-BS Deep Dive
✨Click here to get started!

Subscribe to our email list for expert tips on managing your hormones, mastering your hustle, and making more money without the burnout.

P.S. Come say hi!
→@profitandlattes on Instagram
→@themenopausalentrepreneur on Instagram
→Follow Kelly on LinkedIn