The Truth About Upper Limits (And Why They Hit Harder in Midlife)
I used to think something was wrong with me.
Every time things started going really well in my business…new clients, more income, momentum building…I'd suddenly get sick. Or overwhelmed. Or decide to tear something apart and rebuild it for no good reason.
It felt like self-sabotage. And honestly? It was.
But not in the way I thought.
It wasn't because I was flaky, inconsistent, or scared of success. It was because I hit my upper limit.
What's an Upper Limit?
It's the invisible ceiling we put on our success, joy, income, ease, or even love. It's the internal thermostat that says, "This is as good as it's allowed to get." And once you go past that set point?
You unconsciously do something to pull yourself back down.
You pick a fight. You procrastinate. You get sick or injured. You "accidentally" miss deadlines or ghost opportunities. You convince yourself now isn't the right time, after all.
Sound familiar?
The Thing No One Tells You Is This: Upper Limits Feel Even Bigger in Menopause
Because it's not just mindset anymore. It's hormones. It's identity. It's brain fog. It's fatigue. It's grief over who you used to be and fear of who you're becoming.
When your body is changing and your brain is glitching, success can feel threatening. You're already stretched thin, so anything that adds pressure (even the pressure of more money or opportunity) can feel like too much.
So your nervous system pulls the emergency brake. And suddenly you're back at baseline, wondering why you can't seem to "handle" the next level.
This Isn't a Flaw, It's a Pattern
One I've seen in almost every client I work with.
They're smart. They're capable. They're making money. They're finally starting to feel good again.
And then…boom. They stop showing up. They change their offer. They get sick. They panic. They back off right when things are starting to flow.
Because success feels like a threat to the part of them that's just trying to stay safe.
How to Break Through Your Upper Limit (Without Breaking Down)
Recognize the Pattern: Name it when it happens. "This might be an upper limit." Bringing awareness to the sabotage takes away some of its power.
Consider keeping a "success triggers" journal where you can track what happens in your body and business right after big wins. The patterns become obvious when you see them on paper.
Get Curious, Not Critical: Ask: "What feels unsafe about having this much success/joy/money/freedom right now?" The answers will surprise you and free you.
Regulate Your Nervous System
Your brain can't make good decisions from fight-or-flight. Focus on feeling safe in your body first…walk, breathe, pause, slow down.
When I feel an upper limit approaching, I immediately scale back commitments, increase rest, and double down on body-based regulation techniques. Sometimes a 20-minute walk can disrupt a sabotage pattern that would have otherwise derailed weeks of momentum.
Build Capacity Slowly: Don't go from $2K months to $20K overnight. Expand your ability to hold success by increasing what you can tolerate in small, safe steps.
I often coach clients to increase their goals by no more than 20% at a time, then practice “living at that level" emotionally before pushing for more. The slow expansion creates lasting change.
Surround Yourself with Safe Mirrors: Coaches, peers, and community who reflect your potential back to you without judgment are invaluable. You can't expand in isolation.
This is why I create small group experiences for my clients. Nothing dissolves an upper limit faster than hearing another woman say, "I'm feeling that too and we're going through it together."
There’s Nothing Wrong With You; You're Just Expanding Past Your Old Limits
Midlife doesn't have to mean shrinking.
It can mean expanding into the version of you that can hold more…more success, more joy, more ease, more support.
But that expansion starts by noticing the ways you've been keeping yourself small... even when you don't mean to.
If you've ever found yourself pulling back just as things start getting good…it's not just you. It's your upper limit.
And I can help you move through it.
Ready to break through your upper limits? Choose your path:
Join my intimate group program where we'll work through this framework together in community
Apply for 1:1 coaching for personalized guidance tailored to your specific challenges
Whether in community or individually, it's time to stop shrinking when you should be rising. Let's move past your old limits…together.
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